I have been home for 16 days now.
And now I will tell you why being at home is AWESOME.
1) There are people here who STILL REMEMBER ME!!! (Praise God!). It may seem silly and irrational, but in my worst moments I couldn't imagine why anyone would want to maintain a friendship with me - I literally came back expecting to re-connect with about 4 people. I have been floored at the awesome talks and lunches and coffee chats I've had with friends since I've been back. God has been very generous in giving me so many meaningful friendships...I could talk with you guys for days!
2) My family has been WONDERFUL in allowing me time to decompress and readjust to my surroundings. And they've all been so patient when I slide into my "Well, in Korea" this and that, and even though they don't understand fully what it was like, they humor me by listening to my strange and foreign tales of the Orient. I was very worried that I wouldn't feel comfortable sharing my experiences with people because the second I mentioned something they couldn't relate to, their eyes would glaze over and I'd be left feeling stupid I'd brought it up. That hasn't happened at all (Praise God!).
3) We have a stocked pantry, so I have been fully able to exercise my culinary freedom! So far I have made oatmeal butterscotch cookies, steak and bleu cheese salad (with fresh tomatoes and basil from the garden), and Korean sigumchi namul (wilted spinach with sesame seeds), amongst other things. I also went to the Oriental supermarket to buy chunky juice and made my family try it. It tasted like sweet subway memories...
4) I HAVE SHOPPED SO MUCH!!!! Hilary warned me of this phenomenon...but after not being able to shop for 14 months, what's a girl to do? Plus, its good for the economy, so...you can thank me later.
5) I have never appreciated this before (maybe I'm dense), but Indiana is beautiful in the fall. Yeah yeah I know the billboards, the strip malls, the suburban sprawl...complain all you want. The Indiana I see is full of trees that explode with color, pumpkin stands along the side of the road, the smell of bales of straw and bonfires in the country and the crunching sound of me tossing my cousins into piles of freshly-raked leaves.
6) Two words: Taco Bell.
And I could go on and on...brevity is not my forte, you know. But I shall stop here.
Who knows how long I'll be here. But that's a statement all of us can make. No matter how firmly we plant our feet in this world, our existence here is temporary. No matter how closely we cling to people, to places, to traditions - they will all disintigrate as dust in our hands.
"Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world - the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever."
~ 1 John 2:15-17
I'm afraid of tricking myself into thinking I don't need God.
I'm afraid I will cause Him to manifest (in my mind) into a "conceptual" deity, rather than the fully real and honest Presence I experienced in Seoul.
I want my journey to be experiential, not just intellectual or emotional.
I don't want to get stuck in the mud of complacency.
So...I love being home. And its good for me to be here now. But I must keep my eyes on my real home. And I must not refuse Him who is speaking.
